Split Apart -- Reunited Together: A Sibling's Path to Reunion:
I have always been an only child; my entire life I have never had a sibling to blame when something broke. I never had to share anything, and it was lonely sometimes. I can remember being around the 5th grade and going outside to play. Within maybe 20 minutes, I just remember sitting down with what I was playing with and looking around, wishing I had someone else to hang out with. To be honest it's a worry with my daughter that she feels the same way, as it appears she may never have a sibling.
I found out at age 15 that I did have a sibling, a little brother. He was five years younger than me and had been put up for adoption at birth. We had one picture of him, he was in a suit at his Grandfather's funeral. Oh my gosh he looked so much like our Mother. Her red hair, her blue eyes, he was a spitting image of her. At the time, I was told I could only write letters to him, and it'd be up to his adoptive Mother to let him read them if she thought it would be alright. I never did write (That I can remember). I do remember at one point feeling like there was no reason to because I'd never see him.
At age 23, I became engaged and I realized at that point I only had a couple of biological relatives that would be there. I was not going to have my biological mother there and so something just clicked in my head that I wanted my brother there somehow. My Grandma had given me the adoption agency's contact information in the packet of stuff she'd given me so I reached out to them. They spoke to me as if I was some bizarre person with an even more bizarre request. I kept being told "We have to figure out who the case worker was, and then see if we can release the information." Sometimes I'd be told it was a closed adoption therefore I was not allowed anything but I wouldn't take no for an answer.
I still remember in vivid detail how I got a hold of my brother. I was running a lunch errand for my boss and co-workers and as I walked into the upscale seafood restaurant I was irritated. The adoption agency told me they had been waiting to reach out to me because they were waiting for the biological mother to let them know I had permission. I became a bit irrational in my response but I spoke (rather loudly I might add) swiftly saying "If you're waiting to hear from my Mom you're going to have to talk to God, and all shes going to tell you is how good the damn dirt tastes." I had the phone shaking in my hand, and people around me just had this look of shock (which I know if family had been around they'd have given me the same look). At that point, the woman on the phone with me either opened a file or moved a piece of paper and went "Oh, yes it shows here she is deceased." I wanted to scream "DUH!" but I didn't. At that point, the agency stated that they would reach out to his Mom, and if she wanted to contact me she would.
I went back to work, eating with my co-workers and doing my job when out of nowhere my cell phone rang. It was late in the evening, and I didn't recognize the number. Immediately, I thought "This is my brother's Mom." So I nervously answered:
"This is your brother."
What my brother doesn't know (and if he's reading now will) is at that moment my hand went over my mouth, which was about as wide as a grapefruit, and tears immediately filled my eyes. I remember sounding happy and excited to speak to him but I was flooded with so much emotion. He told me that soon as he found out I existed, he took my number from his Mom and dialed. I had so many questions I wanted to ask and so many things to say, but I was still on the clock with work and as a Front Desk employee, that would have been a big no-no for someone to walk in on. We spoke for a few minutes and then I told him I'd call him after work. I had to step into the hallway to let out the emotions I was feeling so I could continue the rest of the evening (which my supervisor was a jerk and acted like somehow I should've just remained calm over this whole thing) but I called my brother back that night. Turns out, his birthday was the same day as our wedding date so it became such a blessed day. My family got to meet him for the first time a few months later on my wedding weekend, I took him to our Mother's burial site (along with our brother) and shared a quiet moment. We both had lost her, and for the first time I was able to share my feelings of losing a Mother with a sibling. In the 9 years I've had him in my life we've definitely had sibling ups and downs. He's come out to visit me after his niece was born, and we have seen his home as well.
For the record this is in 2008, NOT how we look now, lol.
I wrote this because I wanted people to know that what you see on television isn't always how it is. The show "Long Lost Family" on TLC makes it sound so easy when really it isn't. It's very hard sometimes to find siblings or relatives you really need to know. But, never lose hope and never give up. Never forget that if you have a feeling of someone missing in your life even if you don't know who they are, that they probably feel it too. My little brother is definitely a blessing I'm so happy to have. I nicknamed him "Bubba" and I have no idea why I did lol. I did it 9 years ago, and to this day I call him Bubba and he's okay with it (Though him being from the North I think the joke is I call him that just because i'm from the South). I've yelled at him, cried with him, laughed and hugged him and I will always be grateful that I had the courage and patience to find him.
Dearest Brother, know I love you. Know forever that you are my blood and my heart and you will always have me, and never forget how proud I am of you.
Elizabeth is a wife to her wonderful husband, a work at home mother to her beautiful little girl and a blogger for some time now. When she isn't spending time with her "Livvybug", or laughing with her husband, she is looking for new review opportunities and writing or singing along to classic rock and pop music!
This was such a sweet post--it brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you've united with your brother. I hope your relationship continues to grow!ReplyDelete
This is so amazing! What a lovely story to read. So happy for you and your brother :) xx thecarlycollective.comReplyDelete