BuzzFeed Feminism at its Silliest: A Special "Report"

We must avoid running at sunset apparently...

"29 Things Women Avoid Doing Out Of Fear For Our Safety"

My husband came to me and stated he may not read Buzzfeed any longer. When I asked why, he told me that this article was obviously written by radical feminists who were taking their fear of the opposite gender way too far. The article states that due to the risks of rape and violence, women have changed their entire lives because men are essentially incapable of being adults and respectful to the opposite gender. Below are each of the 29 things (and unless otherwise noted all of these are things not to do), the reasons behind them, and my response.

Note: My responses to these are meant to be taken with humor and lightly. Please do not think I am in any way trying to be non-chalant about rape, sexual harassment, violence, or anything else.

1. Get drunk - because you never know if someone might try to assault you when you’re under the influence.

Okay, so at the age of seventeen I began drinking with my boyfriend at the time, his best friend, and anyone else from his friends that wanted to do so. We drank at bonfires, tailgating, hotel rooms, anywhere because it was fun. Once I was single (Which was only a three month period) I'd go out drinking with my ladies, or I'd have a drink on dates. Never once did I have to fear being assaulted due to my inebriation. Even as I got older I would continue to drink until I was 24. I stopped drinking simply because I grew tired of waking up hung over, and how dehydrated I was the next day. Fact: 95% of the time, the men drinking with you get just as drunk as you get, and are not thinking about assaulting you. They're thinking about how many steps it'll take to puke in the bushes then go to bed. Yes, there are always those random cases of men taking advantage but if a woman is going to never drink due to this, oh you are going to be the designated driver for life! There are better reasons to stop drinking than to fear something that may never happen.

2. Leave our drinks at the bar, unattended - because someone might try to drug them. What on earth is this? So you should take your whiskey sour to the bathroom with you? How about you tell the bartender you're coming back, leave your empty glass on the bar, then go to the bathroom. Come back, and BOOM back to drinking! Simple logic here people, you don't have to get a full drink then suddenly pee! If you're on a date with someone, and you are fearing in the back of your mind your drink getting drugged, perhaps you should leave the date instead of wondering if he's going to slip a pill into your appletini.

I find this highly unlikely, unless it's 3AM...

3. Move into certain neighborhoods or live on certain blocks - because the harassment is too severe. I've lived in different neighborhoods over the course of 30 years. When I was in high school I lived in a middle to upper class neighborhood, and guess what...I got whistled at by men while walking to school 5 days a week! I until recently lived in a lower class neighborhood and it only happened when I was alone or at night. So does this mean I should only live in lower class neighborhoods to avoid the whistling based upon my life experience? This is just a flawed statement and completely oblivious to the fact that not every female has a budget that can "pick and choose" for her where to live.

4. Meet our creepy landlords, the cable guy, or the electrician by ourselves - because it makes us feel unsafe. This one is a "duh". If you're allowing a man into your home and you live alone as a woman, yeah okay you need a guy friend around. Not just because it can be an awkward situation if you feel uncomfortable with them, but there are many cases of specially trained employees taking advantage of women and their lack of knowledge. Suddenly hooking up your cable equals "Oh I had to run a line from outside the home to in here and then I had to do this that and the other, and your cable company won't cover it so I need $200 right now". If you are just not comfortable with them, you can request the specialist be female if they have someone. If not, request two employees. But don't sit there and act like every male on earth is out to get you.

5. Travel solo -because there are certain places where it’s just not safe to be a woman traveling alone. First off, if you're a female and you're traveling why would you go somewhere that isn't safe for you? Thrill seeker? I guarantee you you can find just as great a store or restaurant in a safer neighborhood! If not, wait until you have a companion. If you're traveling solo overseas, just be smart don't go walking around like an idiot. That screams "tourist" to regulars, and that doesn't matter if you're female or male. Why are these common statements being singled to just females anyway? Or how about you pack yourself some pepper spray and go to where you want and stop fearing the world? That works too!

6. You should try couch-surfing - because staying at a stranger’s house seems like an invitation for trouble. I'm trying so hard not to laugh at this, whoever thinks this is a fun idea whether male or female is an idiot. Let's just go to some stranger's house! Oh hey look at their lovely collection of knives and...oh hey cyanide...but I just want to sleep in a stranger's home what a thrill! We'll look for you on the milk carton. Once again COMMON. SENSE. This has nothing to do with gender!

7. Run alone at night - because we fear attackers. This I believe is the only one that I will agree with. Though attackers will go for men, women tend to zone out more than men when running. It was shown in the movie "What Women Want", we tend to do nothing but worry and think in our heads and we don't look around. Men do tend to concentrate more and keep an eye on their surroundings. So if you are a Texan like me and want to run at night or in the evening, either have a partner or make sure to run in a pretty lively area where people would see someone snag you. But this is again another common sense note.

They have that kind of time you know...

8. Talk back to harassers - because you never know if the abusive words will escalate to violent actions. I'm just face palming right here, why in the world would you turn around to someone who cat calls you and say something negative? You keep on walking! They leave you alone! You turn around and you initiate the contact they were hoping for. This goes for male or female! Why would you eve--- Oh go jump off a balcony.

9. Meet a stranger — for a date or to buy something on Craigslist — without telling a friend exactly where we’ll be, because we’re aware there’s always the threat of danger. Apparently women are incapable of knowing right and wrong. This entire list is meant to be what women have to do due to men. So far I'm just seeing what women have to do because apparently we're airhead idiots. Every time I ever had a date from online, I told my room mates. Every time I'm buying or selling something on Craigslist I never meet the person alone. Just don't be an idiot, that's what this says. Who cares if you're a woman going to a man, this is just idiotic.

10. Walk home at night without holding our keys out - because you never know when you might need a makeshift weapon. My husband said this one makes him laugh. Yes because only women are going to check the mail. Every time he is walking outside he has his keys out, it just signals your intentions. He intends to check the mail, or go to the car or go home. I sincerely doubt if you're about to get robbed by gun point that person is going to go "oh look, she has a key I should avoid at all costs!" I personally always walk with my cell phone in my hand and I always make sure it's unlocked. That way if I'm attacked, I can immediately dial 911. Hey look, I found an easier way to be safe! Also one other thing, instant recognition! It's easy to take pictures with phones these days. But your key will do nothing but piss off the attacker who will more than likely get violent because you fought back.

11. Wear flimsy clothing when we’re out walking by ourselves - because harassers see it as an invitation to bother us. 

12. Wear loud or outrageous clothing, either - because that’ll invite comment from strange men too. 

13. Wear anything that will expose our breasts or remind men that we’re women -because that’s seen as an invitation for leers.

I grouped these three together, because reality is the woman who wrote this has obviously never been south of let's say, New York. I live in Texas, in the late Spring to early Summer it'll be almost 92 outside but feel like 95. Inside my old home it would be 80 degrees at that point. When I went outside I intended to wear a "breast exposing" tank top that would be loose, and it probably was a lovely shade of peach. Guess what original writer, you wouldn't last 15 minutes in the Texas sun in a tight, form fitting, dark colored tee shirt that didn't let your chest breathe! Oh and guess what, if someone leers at my breasts I smile! I'm married but I'm not dead! I tell my husband it happened and sometimes I love how he gets defensive. We do not live in bubbles and I'm not going to stop dressing comfortably because you're afraid to step outside your front door. You go wear that floor length body suit, I'll be the one smiling and enjoying the summer.

14. Wear a ponytail - because it will make it easier for an attacker to grab our hair. Yes, because all women are capable of wearing their hair down 24/7. News flash moron, even with your hair down men can grab a hold! That happens to be a favorite feature for many women during sex. Should we all have pixie cuts like Julia Roberts in Hook? NO THANK YOU.

Well...duh...chew with your mouth closed and they stop looking!

15. Wear high heels - because it’ll make it harder to run faster if we need to. I'm laughing again, lose the shoes as you run. Done. I see women wearing high heels to Six Flags Over Texas, I sincerely doubt they're going "Oh my god I could get attacked today!"

16. Engage in small talk with a man - because he may interpret it as an invitation to come on to us in a lecherous way. In the 1950s all the way to the 1980s, this is how you met someone. In high school you were strangers, and if you had a crush you met that stranger and became friends then dated. You married men and women who used to be strangers. How do you become friends with someone? THEY WERE A STRANGER! Who is writing this? Oh yeah, an idiot.

17. Make eye contact with strangers - because it’s seen as an invitation to approach us.
18. Even smiling can be seen as tacit approval to talk or approach us.
Sigh...this goes to the above topic. I come from a very outgoing family. My Dad could walk into a grocery store alone, and 45 minutes later walk out with four new friends and invite them to his next pool party. I also am outgoing due to this, I say hi to people who smile at me. I'm not going to raise my daughter to fear society. The more outgoing you are, the more strangers tend to avoid you if they aren't outgoing. If someone is going to jump you but they see you stop and talk to people, they won't get the chance. It's called being NORMAL.

19. Eat food in public — like ice cream cones — that might attract unwanted male attention. If you suck a piece of spaghetti, you'll get a guy staring at you. If you lick a pickle, you'll get a stare. If you chew too wide and have to cover your mouth you'll get stared. Hello people, you're eating in public! Eyes have to go somewhere and if you're moving, the movement takes the eye to you! Stop acting like the world is out to take you to to bed already okay?

20. Ride our bikes late at night - because we don’t want to deal with the harassment. This is differently stated than "dangerous harassment" or "attacks". This just sounds stuck up "Don't want to deal with". But, going with the whole "trying to be safe" agenda, this goes with number #7. Just be smart.

21. Stay at a party or a show after our friends have gone home - because we don’t want to worry about being stranded in a potentially threatening situation. If you went to a party with friends, chances are you rode with them. I'd be more upset you got left behind and be taking a cab to them just to tell them to pay for your cab fare because they were jerks personally. If you're staying behind at a party, and there's no one you know, then you really are desperate for attention. Why stay at a party if you don't know someone? Who is writing this pamphlet? "How much obvious idiocy can be written in an article 101". Be smart, go home when they leave.

22. Get into a subway car with just men in it - because we’re afraid something might happen. Instead, we scope out subway cars with other women already in them. I call bs on this one, not because of the whole "waiting for a car with women" but reality is subways are 95% of the time so busy you will never find a car with only men. It has to be maybe 3AM or something for this to happen, and I'm fairly certain you can just sit near the front where the driver of the subway car would see if something happened. When in the hell is this scenario even a remote possibility?

23. Walk around late at night with headphones on and blasting music -because we’re afraid attackers might come up behind us. This is dripping with "duh" but this goes back to the biking at night and running at night thing. If you're out alone don't play your headphones so loud you can't hear around you! Simple as that, man this is getting obvious she just needed to fill the article's word requirement. For the record when I would walk alone I would always have one earbud in and one out so I could hear anything around me.

24. Answer the door to unexpected visitors - just in case it’s someone who got into the building randomly, who might be planning to attack. I guess the training you get as a child about "stranger danger" no longer exists as an adult huh? You get told never to open the door to strangers. You ask "Who is it" through a locked door. What, did you decide as an adult you shouldn't do this anymore? Why should you fear an attacker if you follow normal protocol instilled in you as a child? Another eye roll here.

25. Let the cab driver/our date drop us off directly in front our buildings -because we don’t want random guys to know where we live. I have had experience with cab drivers in the last couple of years. 1. These guys are on clocks, they only are allotted certain amounts of time to drive you somewhere, then pick up another job and go to it. If they are late, or don't do something they are questioned. They are usually gone by the time you're heading to your door. 2. They may come back, but this is why you use your own eyes to scan your surroundings before coming and going. Why rely on someone else to keep you safe when you can do it yourself? You're not a wimp! Whip out that high heel and smack a man if you can!

26. Walk directly home - sometimes, if we’re afraid someone is following us. Instead, we’ll stop at a neighborhood bar and pretend we’re meeting someone. Come to Texas, I dare you to try to "not walk straight home" in the summer whether morning, noon, or night. You'll come home dripping in sweat and exhausted wishing you'd just come home. I promise you no one will come after you in 100 degree heat, they'll be dying just as you are from heat stroke. (FYI: If you haven't been able to hear the humorous sarcasm in this where I think I know everything though it's clear I don't, then now you know to re-read this with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. lol.)

27. Give our last names to strangers or potential dates, because it makes it that much easier for a stranger to find out where you live, or where you work. -Please tell me you don't use Facebook, LinkedIn, Freelancer, or any other social media site. Please? Oh wait, you're a woman in a technology driven life. Hey look! They found you based on your picture and first name and city you live in! Good job. I recently had my identity stolen twice, and both times I was able to search the phone numbers on the accounts and they both came up with Facebook accounts. So according to this don't give your number either!

28. Stay late at our offices by ourselves, because of the potential of being attacked. - When did this suddenly become new news? Women (and Men alike) get attacked coming out of the office. This is a part of daily life when you work late and it's unfortunately something that has to be feared these days. Ask the security guard to walk you, wait for someone in the office, have no one? Whip out that phone and dial a number. Then that person can call 911 if you're jumped or it may scare away the attacker because they know someone can hear. Stop fearing the world, or add a bed to your desk.

And the last one...

29. Use an ATM that’s outside or isolated - because we fear being attacked. - Can we just pause here and point out that banks these days have moved most ATMs to within a building with unlocked doors? If you truly need money, do a drive-thru ATM unless you can just withdraw money at any Walmart cash register. Simple, easy. Safe. 

Society today seems hell bent in blaming everyone for everything and this is no different. Stop acting like men are the only "Evil doers". If you're going to wear low cut stuff, you're going to get "leered" at. Plain and simple! Don't like it? Well just chop off your boobs because they are men they will enjoy what they don't have. Seriously, breasts to a man are toys and as long as you're raising your sons right to know that women are not objects or toys, you're just fine and so are your daughters. Enough of this blame game and move on people. We can't grow up hating each other (though it seems to be the agenda today) so how about we try to better ourselves instead of blaming others?

Elizabeth is a work at home Mother of a sweet and beautiful daughter. She is a wife of seven years and a blogger for some time now. When she isn't spending time with her "Livvybug" she is looking for new review opportunities and writing or singing along to classic rock and pop music!