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This is a personal article, but something many can relate to. This is long but I think in at least one way or another, anyone reading this will relate.
I have always found a way to find humor in life out of sorrow. My life has been exceptionally rough, though I never play "My life is worse than yours!" because in everyone's eyes their lives are hard. But genuinely speaking I have always said if I wrote my life out from my point of view, changed the names, and sold it as fiction I'd be a multi-millionaire already. Of course I'd never do that considering the majority of what would make great "meat" for the book I tend to try to block out it is that bad. But one thing I've learned is to take the negative and create a stronger and more positive life from it. No matter what people will say or do to you, your family, your friends, your life, your love if you can step up and tell yourself "That was them, not you", you can always guide yourself to a better life.
One of the things that I have not only been taught by my Wicca teacher (my Dad) but found along my path is meditation. My Dad taught me grounding and centering and it has been an incredible form of self-soothing I never had before. With my past comes awful repercussions medically. PTSD, anxiety, depression, short term memory loss, paranoia, and all of these things could be treated with rounds of therapy and pills. No, thank you. I've been in and out of therapy my entire life and on and off medications just as long. I'm tired of having to chemically change my brain to be "normal" and I'm tired of listening to therapists tell me that my abusive ex (true story by the way) was correct in pointing out other women and their beauty to get me to see that I wasn't trying hard enough. Yes, I left that therapist quickly. When I start to have panic attacks now, instead of just falling apart and screaming, crying and losing control, I ground and center. It helps tremendously and has also given me a new appreciation for the outside world around me.
In the last week, I was noticing that when I tried to meditate my brain would not stop thinking. It would continue to worry and stress and I couldn't shut that part off. So I was pointed to "Guided Meditation". In particular the first one I ever tried was this:
The positive affirmations in this and the imagery that my mind's eye created has become a nightly routine for me as I lie in bed. I find myself imagining a garden, with a small half circle of white flowers that I see myself laying in. A small brook is rolling about 10 feet away, I can see trees bending above hiding the sky to the South of me but right above me, blue and white shows. For me, this is my place of calm and soothing. But this is not the one that does the most in positive changes for me, no that would be this one:
Within this meditation I am able to choose based upon the chakra color what it is I need to heal for myself. I take this time every night to heal, and I mend whatever it is inside me that is dwelling. In the last couple of days alone I have had a lot of emotions that have flooded me that I didn't know I had. But instead of letting them consume me I use the meditation. I find myself letting go of a lot that would dwell for days. It helps me think and see clearer and understand situations that normally emotion would have forced me to misconstrue.
My husband told me one day something that makes a lot of sense: There is no perfect person in this world. You can have money, you can have fame, power, a big house; What seems to be perfect but inside no one truly is. There is always a fear or a stress that daily penetrates your thoughts and is so powerful it will change your personality even for a short time. My meditation has not only healed me so many times when I found myself hurt or distraught, but it has given me more confidence within myself to speak my mind or ask for help or clarification. I used to find myself in tears so often, that my four year old had felt she had to calm me down and comfort me. As sweet as the moment appears on the outside, the guilt that consumed me knowing she saw me this way was too much to bear. Now, she sees me stronger and more confident and that is the Mother I always want to be for her.
Before you close this article, please turn on the above meditation for color healing. Please use headphones, it works a lot better that way and try it just one time. Meditation may not be for you, but it might be and you don't realize it, and I hope it can be just as eye opening for you as it was for me.
Blessed Be.
Elizabeth is a work at home Mother of a sweet and beautiful daughter. She is a wife of seven years and a blogger for some time now. When she isn't spending time with her "Livvybug" she is looking for new review opportunities and writing or singing along to classic rock and pop music!
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Elizabeth is a work at home Mother of a sweet and beautiful daughter. She is a wife of seven years and a blogger for some time now. When she isn't spending time with her "Livvybug" she is looking for new review opportunities and writing or singing along to classic rock and pop music!
When I was 17, and graduating high school, I was a size 9 and around 119 pounds. I also was a full-time dancer (ballet, tap, jazz etc) going to classes four times a week for almost two hours a day. In one recital I had five dances, and I remember literally running to the back where my Mom would have my next costume and I'd have my tights layered on so I could just strip out of one pair and already be wearing the other. I gave up dance for a year starting in college and WHAM...the weight just piled on. I also was diagnosed with a severe case of plantar fasciitis in both legs, arthritis, and by age 23 my career was over. I wept the day I had to let it go because dancing to me was like breathing.
